LONGHORN

by Jamila Pierre


Because long horn bulls exist all over the globe, the world is full of stories about them and symbolism surrounding them. To the Celts, bulls symbolised great physical strength because of their powerful build. They were also associated with virility and procreation. The Druids connected them with solar energy and used them sacrificially to acquire wisdom and spiritual powers. Later on they became symbols of abundance and wealth. In Greek mythology the god Zeus transformed himself into a bull to win the love of Europa. Their son, Minos, became king of Crete and introduced the infamous Minotaur, a raging bull-headed creature, to the labyrinth at Knossos. These stories endowed the bull with many symbolic qualities, including passion, transformation, determination and fulfilment.
— http://www.coolanimaltattoos.com

Despite recently going to Longhorn steakhouse and having an amazing burger with garlic fries, to celebrate a certain someone's birthday, I found myself relating to the symbolism of said creature (The Longhorn). 

Lately I've found myself in situations that bring out the crazy and test me in so many ways that I at times become overwhelmed by it; somehow I've preservered. I've been beyond sick and in pain; I'd find myself crawling (literally) and clawing my way through because I whole-heartedly refuse(d)  to give into this chronic illness. I am a ram by birth, but I also lie dangerously close to the bull (by birth as well of course); all those phenomenal traits have pretty much rubbed off/ made its way into my bloodstream. I've had to exude so much more strength than usual lately and I've gained so much wisdom. I am faced with my continual transformation every single day, had to evaluate and re-evaluate myself and my shortcomings so regularly that even though I'm going through such an obscene amount of BS......really it's just more of the same (no matter how shitty it gets). And despite how much "the same" all of the trials and tribulations are in nature.....somehow I become a new person every single day.

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On the day I wore this outfit I wasn't actually planning on going anywhere, I had woken up screaming in pain yet again (which is like I said...more of the same, these days especially). I spent the entire morning in a ball of uncontrollable pain and as the clock ticked I found all the shame, guilt, and failure sinking in. I made plans and promises, yet again, that I couldn't keep. It was supposed to be a special day for a special someone and I was going to have to cancel. 

That special someone has seen me go through relapse after relapse, for years, and for some reason it hit em' harder than it has in a long time. The tone of the day was set and we were officially not going anywhere, that was apparent through the tear soaked pillow that provided support for my throbbing skull but no comfort. 

It took hours for me to stop rocking from side to side, for me to stop waling in pain, and once I had, I tried my luck at finally standing so that I could go to the bathroom. I've said it once and I'll say it again, you don't know what you've had until you've lost it. To be able to do something as small as going to the bathroom when you need to without your body turning into a tuning fork upon each step and making your eyes feel like they're about to pop out of their sockets......? People rarely understand the gravity of how effortlessly able bodied they are.

I made it to the living-room, needing a break with each step, but I made it. I sat down in front of this "coffee table" that I hate with a passion because it's small but somehow heavy as shit and when you're feeling as trash as I was feeling, a "coffee table" like the one I was faced with will have you questioning whether you want to chance an aneurysm by getting up and stomping it out. Can you tell I hate this table? So I sat in front of it reached below to the shelf underneath it, and I wrapped my hands around my only savior these days, my pain killers.

I took my pills and threw myself back, hoped and prayed for a speedy dissolve, and waited patiently for my level 15 outta 10 pain (on a 1-10 pain-scale) to go down to at least a 7. Once it did, I was ready to push myself to take back the day, I was in full-fledged #ReclaimingMyTime mode. I refused to let this illness take yet another day from me (I mean we could definitely revisit the seventh layer of hell tomorrow, but on this day I wasn't having it), unfortunately my special someone wasn't feeling it anymore (I guess all the tears, screaming, and snot bubbles sucked the fun out of the day...which is understandable).

But, with every moment that my pain level decreased, the more I not only wanted to go out....I NEEDED it. I needed to feel like I wasn't weak, like I wasn't a failure, like I successfully RECLAIMED MY TIME! It took a bit to convince 'em that we could do this, but I finally did, and after three hours of getting ready (cuz a bish has to go slow as not to aggravate the headache Gods), I was ready to go and felt the sensation of accomplishment surging through my veins. 

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I chose this look because it's super comfy despite your preconceived ideas about the relation of denim and comfort. These jeans were nice and stretchy and had a modest moto feature that spoke to me on many levels. I put on a simple white T-shirt, that honestly is one of the most deliciously soft and flattering white T's I've ever worn, and I threw on this super fabulous bomber jacket in a superb mustardo color. This outfit to me said, "I may be falling apart on the inside....but a bitch is pushin' through and looking snatched while doing it." And let's be clear, it is NOT mandatory to present well, as a femme or otherwise, or as whatever standard society projects onto you; you owe nothing to no one but yourself....and YOU decide what that looks and feels like. For me? I sometimes use aesthetic to cover up the depths of my despair as a "fake it till you make it" type shit. At times I have my issues with that mindset as well but it doesn't stop me from using it to my benefit sometimes. If I could just pamper myself and look good (to my standards of course), it helps ME feel a bit better overall. It's unfortunate that I can't always indulge in the act of getting ready nearly as much I as I used to.

Lastly, I threw on one of my favorito shades to cover my eyes and any tells they may give off on how I was really feeling, and my handy dandy winky kicks, because sparkle.

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The constellation of Taurus the bull is linked to spring and rebirth, conjuring symbolism of rejuvenation and renewal as well as fruitfulness and abundance. In western astrology, those born under the sign of the bull are powerful both physically and spiritually. They invariably get their own way because once their mind is made up, they are immovable! In the Chinese zodiac, the bull symbolises perseverance and people born in the year of the ox or bull are hard-working folk, determined to succeed. In other ancient cultures, the bull signifies guardianship, protection and harmony.
— http://www.coolanimaltattoos.com/why-choose-longhorn-bull-tattoos/

What I'm Wearing:

  1. Sunnies from Hottopic. $5
  2. Bomber is from Charlotterusse.com. $25 (On sale)
  3. White Tee from Charlotterusse.com. $15 (On sale, originally came with a detachable corset piece) 
  4. Dark blue moto jeans from Fashionnova.com. $34
  5. Glitter wink sneakers from Mandee. $15

FALL WISHLIST/ LUST-HAVES: JACKETS

by Jamila Pierre


If there's one thing you should've gathered by now (that is if you've been supporting, reading my blog, or catching up on Instagram), is that I'm all about some outerwear; give me a boss ass jacket or a flexin' ass coat over just about anything, any day. I'm not much of a minimalist per say, but I do love a piece that is transformative and can take you from homely to hot shit in one swoop. I love how effortless something as "simple" as outerwear can be and how you could literally roll out of bed looking like day old morning breath and throw on a jacket, and look like you brushed you brush your teeth after every meal and your bed head was 100% intentional. 

Ahhhhhh, the magic of those signature pieces that (don't mind me being cliche here) really do take you from drab to fab.

Jackets (much more than coats, though I really should get better at stocking up on coats in general) are the single most purchased article of clothing in my wardrobe, right next to jeans/pants (it used to be dresses...but we all go through phases). I could really do a whole video on the sheer ridiculousness of my collection, but I thought I'd share a list of some of the jackets I'm lusting after this season, from a variety of online retailers and at a variety of price points for all you fabulous consumers. Some of the jackets I already own or have tried and sent back (which doesn't deter from the piece's fabulosity, which is why I still listed them), making me able to speak first hand about some of the options listed. And even though I own some of the pieces and have not real reason to lust after them, because I own them, it hasn't stopped me from lusting after the appropriate weather to rock them in all their glory (hence the use of the term lust-have *coining it*).

So here's the list, please enjoy, and please understand that yes the list is long....but trust me it could be longer, LOL. Let me know down below or on the gram if you'd like me to do a part two.

  1. Khaki camo sequins parka (I own this one, it's absolutely stunning and fits with room for a slouchy chic look)
  2. Plus leather trim teddy bear coat (Do not own)
  3. Plus shaggy faux fur jacket (Do not own)
  4. Plus Macie double breasted teddy bear coat (Do not own)
  5. Plus Indea long-line fur coat (Do not own)
  6. Plus studded leather look biker jacket (Do not own)
  7. Plus boucle moto (Currently waiting for this one in the mail....because they messed up my order, I will let you know how it turns out)
  8. Plus black denim moto (I ordered this in a 4X to ensure it would fit my big arms, it's a bit oversized and has more strecht than I anticipated...I'd say it's true to size)
  9. Plus pink studded moto (This bad boy fir amazingly, it is true to size, I obvi kept this one)
  10. Plus faux suede moto (I ordered this and will have to send it back because it was super snug on the armas and bareley closed around the chest and belly, if you have a big chest/arms/chest, size up)
  11. Ultra luxe studded moto (I ordered this in a 3x and in the butter color, it fits beautifully)
  12. Plus white faux leather moto (This fits me very well, it says that it's a camel color....trust that it comes in white just like the photo, and it is true to size)
  13. Plus leopard moto (Waiting for this in the mail, will update you)
  14. Hillary Scott printed moto: floral (Waiting for this in the mail, will update you)
  15. Plus pink metallic moto (Will be returning, size up, a 3x will fit best on a 2x body, snug in the arms, very dissapointing because the pink is so dope that it hurts)
  16. Hillary Scott printed moto: camo (Waiting for it in the mail, will update you)
  17. Plus shearling borg aviator jacket (Do not own)
  18. Hillary Scot bronze moto (Do not own)
  19. Plus navy metallic moto (Do not own)
  20. Curve faux suede fringe moto (Do not own)
  21. Plus faux fur heavy hooded bomber (Waiting for this in the mail, I will update you on fit)
  22. Plus Alice burg fur parka (Do not own)
  23. Plus Amy contrast fur parka (Do not own)
  24. Plus faux fur-trimmed long-line coat (Waiting for it to arrive, will update you)
  25. Plus refuge faux fur denim jacket (Waiting for it to arrive, will update you)
  26. Light lace-up denim (Do not own)
  27. Plus lace-up denim jacket (Do not own)
  28. Drama sleeve aqua coat (Do not own, but I reeeeallyyyyy want to)
  29. Drama sleeve red coat (Do not own, "                                            ")
  30. Fur cuff car coat (Do not own, but huuuunnnnaaaayyyy)
  31. Leopard fur collar coat (Do not own)
  32. Curve leopard faux fur coat (Do not own)
  33. Elvi leopard wool coat (do not own
  34. Runway chic faux suede jacket w/cape (Do not own)
  35. Curations embroidered trench (Do not own, but my eye is on the navy one)
  36. Curve lace-up eyelet parka (Do not own, but this is so up my winter wear alley)
  37. Plus velvet puffer jacket (Do not own, but be carefull because forever21 and their Jr sizing can suck a bag of perverbial D**ks)
  38. Pus size faux fur shawl lapel coat (Don't own but will soon)
  39. Plus size multi-color faux fur (Don't own but will soon)
  40. Double-breasted borg coat (Do not own)
  41. Twill & french terry drape jacket (Do not own)

 PSA: Always, ALWAYS, use a coupon code. #GetDemDeals!

Again, let me know down below or on the gram if you'd like me to do a part two. Thanks my luvs!