by Jamila Pierre

I Love me some H&M but... please be forewarned that if you find yourself looking at these hot moto styled jeans on the H&M website, they are a full 4 sizes smaller than indicated on the tag. I am a 22...a true size 22/3x, depending on the spandex count I can get away with a size 20 jean (i.e. Forever21 jeans 2-3% spandex); now typically I steer clear of buying jeans from online unless I'm familiar with the types of jeans a store carries...like Forever21, but I figured I'd live a little. I knew that H&M ran a bit small with some of their clothes but I heard some good things about their plus line and i had some luck with their straight sized line so I thought I was in the clear. I also figured that if worse came to worse it would only be a little snug (which wear and tear would remedy over time), or I could take it to any one of the many NYC stores nearby. Seems simple enough right? Seems safe enough right? I mean I've seen people buy a shit ton of things from H&M and return it with seconds to spare, and get all their duckets back in their wallet safe and sound, but why would I expect the same?

Fast forward:::

H&M Jeans

I finally get my mitts on these illustrious jeans and to my dismay they felt like actual death trying to get them on, I mean my legs were being turned into homemade sausage and my attempts at trying to get my cheeks into the pants was futile. The funny part is, the jeans that clam to have spandex had little to no stretch and when you look at the tag the crisp print of the number 22 glared back up at me baring its teeth in a mocking grin. Listen, not fitting into clothes doesn't put me in a self loathing funk, it just kills my superficial joy of having something new to floss in, so before you start wondering whether or not the self deprecation had begun....think again.

I was also pissed that I had spent the money on these jeans and not on the top I was certain would've fit me better, but hey, you win some you lose some. At this point my initial and first stage of self pity had come to completion, I assure you...there's more. 

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                              {^^^Me Talking To Myself Of Course^^^}

So I said to myself, "Just give these awesome pantalones to one of your awesome slightly smaller friends and everybody wins."

To which I did and though it fit her, she's a size 16 mind you, it still fit her kind of off... so she ended up not wanting them. UGGGGHHH!!!!! Off to H&M I go because that's my last option, and here is where the confetti, party balloons, and the music cues, because the pity party began.

I took me and my chronic headaches down to the nearest H&M to return the jeans, and when I got to the register the cashier informed me that I would NOT be able to return online purchases............................................let it sink in...........I'll wait.................. I needed to calm down, I needed to pull a Carl Winslow, from Family Matters, and "3, 2, 1, 1, 2, 3, what the heck is bothering me?"

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When I tell you I lost all sense of decorum...

I mean as annoying as Forever21 is with their no return policy at least you can exchange, I mean DAMN! H&M needs to cut that shit out, talk about trapped in the past. Nobody has time or cares to return things by mail if they don't have to, especially when they live in the city...especially when they live in a city where there are a hundred H&M's at every corner. Why would such a huge corporation make life so hard on their customers? Why can't I at the very least make a GOT DANG EXCHANGE IN THIS BITCH?!! So I huffed and puffed and blew a few houses down, which did nothing but made me feel momentarily satisfied but didn't get me any real results because I still had to take my ass home and return it the old fashion way...by mail. 

Moral of the story:::

1. Read the fine print. (I made the mistake of assuming all online stores made sense)

2. DO NOT shop H&M online, unless you are absolutely certain what their sizing is like and that the garment will in fact fit you. (This is mostly because you can't return or exchange online purchases)

Important note: You may notice that I give H&M options from time to time in my ManikMag articles- as far as that goes; I try to stick with accessories, shoes, things you can find in-store, and things that have have maximum stretch and are over-sized. 

Anyway, hope this helped. Happy shopping!