by Jamila Pierre

Sooooo, I've been away for some time, the posts and social media activity has decreased exponentially...it is with good reason.  Sorry for being M.I.A.

For the past few years (almost three), I've suffered from CSF leaks. In this time I have been knocked down by this invisible illness, but I've also pushed through. I created this blog shortly before the proverbial shit hit the fan, and when I fell ill, my very prominent stubborn side refused to just go down without a fight. I did everything I could, even at the detriment to my feeling good, to maintain who I was and set out to be. I didn't want to lose myself to this sickness.

I continued on with the blog, I worked as a content creator for an online publication and worked my way up to executive editor, I pursued my goal of relaunching a new YouTube channel, I stayed present with all aspects of my social media, I continued my work as a creative/ photographer, I worked as a medical secretary, and I occasionally went out to enjoy the relationships that I hold dear.

During these past few years, I did my very best NOT to let this illness tear me and what made me who I am, apart. It was extremely tough, I had many breakdowns, I wanted to give up so many times and be the cat under the couch so they can die in peace (still do, every day is a battle and a work in progress), and I've been out for the count so many times that it's a miracle that I was able to accomplish as much as I have.


I remember the nights of pushing out content when I literally couldn't lift my head from my desk and the mere act of sitting (let alone standing) made my eyes feel like they were going to pop out of my head. I remember conference calls during the height of my headaches, going to work and dealing with patients no matter how shitty I felt, the many evenings I'd travel home from work and could barely stand. I remember not being able to climb my stairs....or those few times I had to go up one stair at a time with my butt because I felt I would faint or I'd experience excruciating pain if I stood. I had to crawl into my home, and if you know me and my germaphobia....you know I wanted to just die.

And the thing is...I'm still dealing with those things today, many doctors appointments later. I've had tests run, dealt with shitty medical services, been brushed off, been looked at and judged because I'm fat (even though with the exception of this invisible illness...I am fuckin' healthy as an ox, and they have the medical records to prove that), I've had spinal taps, MRI's, MRV's, I've been microwaved to infinity and beyond, I've been told it was a tension headache and had to fight and be my own advocate to get the proper scans to finally get the right diagnosis, I've even had a blood patch....and still....here we are. 


And with all of this sadness, pain, and a complete dismantling of who I am as a person and the will to go on, I do, I keep going. I want nothing more than to be back to normal, to understand why this has happened, to be able to make up for all the time lost and missed opportunities...but the road ahead is long. 

For every post you see, every outfit I donn, every interaction, every outing, it took/ takes all of me. I do it because as much as I want to give up...I just can't seem to. 

I wanted to talk about what's been going on with me because I know so many others out there can relate, and I plan to go into greater detail at a later date because with all of the research I've done...I haven't run across anything that mirrors my experience. I want to be able to give someone the relief in knowing that someone else is going through the same thing, if they were to ever be searching. It's something I have yet to feel. 

So look forward to a video post on my YouTube channel that will explain everything.


What I'm Wearing:

  1. Shades from Buffalo Exchange. $9 (Another option, HERE)
  2. Necklace from the wholesale district. $3(Another option, HERE
  3. Tank top from OldNavy. $7
  4. Plaid shirt from Ironfistclothing, by way of hottopic.com. $28 (On Sale) (Another option, HERE, and HERE)
  5. Bracelet from Burlington Coat Factory. $7
  6. Jeans from Target. $34 (Gifted) (Another option, HERE)
  7. Boots from Charlotterusse.com. $15 (On sale from $45)


by Jamila Pierre

Girl. Gworl....GWUUUURRRRLLLLL. GYAL! This dress tho... I'll wait...

Food printed on clothes, food printed on or shaped as accessories, food in my mouth....I think it's safe to say I'm a fan.

And all things that shine, sparkle, glitter, shimmer, flash, glint, etc...I'm pretty much a fan of as well....

I was pleasantly surprised on my Day-O-Birth, with this dress, by a significant someone, who knew me well enough to know that this print is right up my alley. They also knew that the last two prints from my most recent posts were up my alley as well (HERE & HERE). 

Out of all three of the dresses I didn't know which I was more excited to wear and I didn't know which really to wear first, but life really did pick for me. When it comes to clothing...there really is a time and place for it all, you have to feel it and sometimes it has to feel you. On on this day we were feeling each other.

I had this image in my head, over and over again, with me in one of my most fave jackets of all time (which is out of stock and upsets me because i wish you all could get it), and my safari hat...don't know why...just couldn't shake it.

So I just knew it had to be done.

I got my hat, my jacket, the dress, my boots that I've nearly crashed to shit (but trust me I still wear em' cuz there are no fucks given), I stacked a bunch of bracelets, and my finishing touch was a pair of pink leopard shades. PERFECT.


Don't you just love when you have an outfit on that has all of the elements that make up who you are, in one? I've had several on the blog, and they all look so vastly different from each other...but they still fully embody my style aesthetic completely, without skipping a beat. What outfit best hits every style note in one look, for you? Comment below, or show me using #CompleteStyleBeat

Let's just take a moment to appreciate the view of the back of my wrinkly jacket, for the win.

As for the dress? They wouldn't let me know where they found the dress at first (for fear I would buy everything up and not allow them to gift me thing slowly...they'd be right), but I did manage to get some info out of them.

What I'm Wearing:

  1. Hat from Jcp. $15 (On Sale)
  2. Necklace from Burlington Coat Factory. $7
  3. Jacket from Wetseal.com. $15 (On Sale from $49, alternative and equally as unique HERE)
  4. Dress from Amazon.com. (Gifted)
  5. Rings from street fair $2-$5/ & handmade 
  6. Bracelets from FashionToFigure. $12 stack/ & Burlington Coat Factory $7
  7. Boots from Avenue.com. $33.60