BROWN NOTE.

Disclaimer: If you're not familiar with me or my blogging voice or humor for that matter...this may come off as overly negative, you may not get the point of this post at all. If you find that sarcasm or the occasional sprinkling of realism/ "pessimism" is not your tea, this particular post may not be for you. This post is meant for those days when you'd be so inclined to wear a print such as this one, and not just because it's boss AF. Thank you for your time, please continue.

Let's be clear, I come from a place of thinking where the idea of haters is ridiculous. The idea of a bunch of people sitting around thinking  of you for extended periods of time....not likely (right?), and I think that's because I myself don't really do this unless the person or issue in question has truly wronged me...I don't think about people who are irrelevant....so trying to wrap my head around others doing it seems foreign. 

But then again people are irrational and petty as I too can be on occasion  (how ever different the level or reasoning), plus hate can come in many forms and can come from more than just a person....like the cosmic line of existence (bitch don't want you to be great). It doesn't matter who you are or where you are in life (hate is an equal opportunity S.O.B).

In honor of how hate is spread across the land no matter what you do, say, look like, whether you're alive or dead, it seems. I decided there was only one way to address it. This dress that dons a plethora of middle fingers all over it is kinda giving "multi-cultural teas"/ life, hunty, and I am all the way here for it.

For me the dress speaks for everyone who has ever felt slighted by anyone or anything; a dog, a cat, Murphy's law, or on a much more serious note... a medical condition...financial troubles, shiiiiiit...something as small as someone who didn't hold the elevator door. It could be a broken straw in your drink on a hot day, the weather not letting you and your outfit be great, your boss not giving you your 10's,when people get crazy in the comments, when people feign concern for your health in order to try and make you feel like shit about yourself,  when someone comes for you when you did not send for them, when they didn't put respeck on your name, etc....

Even though I don't really see myself as much more than a speck on the radar of life as a whole, I do find myself at odds and coming to blows with the bitch, you know...life and all this existential mucky muck, from time to time. Aside from some pretty remarkable bright spots that have shun upon my timeline (not the social media one...although that is up for debate too these days)....I got some supremely dumb shit on my timeline (pun intended this time) #Woosaaaa. 

If you've been keeping up with me then you'll know that I've been struggling with some health issues. That's that cosmic shit playin' them games, tryin' to keep this novela spicy. Listen cuz, I'm plenty spicy for us all I don't need all the added sazon and adobo! I also have PCOS...which is another story all together, but I can't even focus on those symptoms entirely because I'm too busy with this cerebral cockamamie wrench in my plans. 

All in all, I don't really think the powers that be properly equipped any one living thing with enough middle fingers or middle finger emoji's for one lifetime, or the several lifetimes that follow (not with the way shit is set up).

But I swear on everything this too shall pass...because if it doesn't...the next dress I wear....

Look, look, listen, listen....I know that there are going to be people who read this post and the point is going to blow right over their heads, this post isn't for you. I would love nothing more than for this post to be for everyone and for everyone to get it, I sure hope everyone does...but...you just might not. This post is for the people who know what it's like to have hella rotten days and instead of having an APP for it, they have a middle finger for it. This is for the people who are discriminated against, who feel marginalized, who feel unheard, who are ostracized , who are shamed, abused, who are wronged, or are just hated.

This is also for the people who stub their toe, get paper cuts, have bad hair days, whose makeup won't come out right, who forgot deodorant this morning, who have a run in a fresh pair of tights, or who bit their tongue literally doing nothing.

This is also for the people who work hard and never get credit where credit is due, who work for years (in any field) and are ignored (and please don't act like it doesn't matter because that shit is insulting and a got dang lie), for all the people who were taken advantage of for their  skill set, for the artist who stays up for days straight and still can't get the fucking program to work or to make this one part move the way they want it to
(#@$@%!), etc...

There are so many valid reasons to say fuck you, fuck this, fuck it, FUCK; or we could just wave it like we just don't care and say it all with a crisp middle finger and can feel just as good.

What I'm Wearing:

1. Shade, cultivated over time.
2. Sunglasses from Rebelcircus.com. $11 (On sale)
3. Jacket from Strawberry. (Similar HERE)
4. Dress (Gifted for my BDay, person won't let me know where they got it from but I'm working on it)
5. Belt from VIM. $7 (Similar HERE)
6. Bracelets from a street-fair. (Similar HERE)
7. Leggings from Forever21.com. $19.90 (Similar HERE)
8. Boots from Charlotterusse.com. $15 (On sale from $45, similar HERE)

TREATS ON TREATS.

Two days ago on IG:

"Today marks the day that I become one year dustier, and as I lay here thinking about all that I've done and all that I have (regardless of what struggles I may be battling currently)...I'm kinda feeling blessed. My heart swells for some of the people in my life and there's almost nothing better than being able to feel love for someone and to consider people family even though it's not by blood. There are new beginnings on the horizon and the pure magic that is existence, its positively raw energy will put itself on display once again soon enough, and I for one am fucking excited. My life as it stands is an absolute tornado in all it's destructive horrendous chaotic beauty (slightly less interesting, I assure you). I am in a perpetual love hate state, and I'm always trying to find ways to accept this fact about myself...that it'll probably never change. But/and, no matter all of the negative feels I could possibly harbor towards the shittiest of shit I'm going through, I'm grateful to still be able to follow up with a "but"; but I have a roof over my head..., but I have people who love me unconditionally and would come to my rescue quick and in a hurry..., but I have food on the table every night..., but I still have so much more than most..., but I grew up WITH..., etc... And as much of a firm believer I am that all problems are relevant I'm just grateful that so far (after however many dusty years on this plant) I can still end my sentences with a "but", I can only hope it remains that way for many more years to come and it makes my heart go out to those who don't have it like that, may you acquire some commas soon (Pun intended) **Cues Future- Fucking up some Commas** #AriesUnite #AriesPower ♈️♈️♈️ #Aries"

Fast forward to my day-o-birth:

I decided that in lieu of all the years that have passed where I'd opted to do nothing but laze around on my birthday and eat my weight in deliciousness, while watching copious amounts of movies and partaking in other such homebody type activities, I stepped on out.  

Now most times I usually don't go out on my birthday because it's the time I like to really take for myself. I know a lot of people like to go out and celebrate big (this is a general assumption of course...), but I see a birthday as a true ME day which translates into R&R or F&M (Food & Movies) which would be at home. 

 I've been battling such a chronic illness that it made it almost impossible for me to enjoy life for at least a good long while....I don't think a person really understands how much gets taken for granted when the simplest of tasks don't come so easy anymore; when you have to lay down in order to put on lipstick, when you have to lay down in order to eat, when it all switches up on you and you can't lay down anymore and have to find a way to sleep sitting or standing up, or when you have to write a blog post with your head planted firmly on the desk because your vertigo is so intense you could fall from your seat.

So when MY birthday was creeping up, and the pains were taunting me (letting me know that yet another year had gone by and I was still no where closer to a diagnosis let alone a cure), and I'd just had a stint in the ER due to a cerebral fluid leak (finally confirmed after 2+ yrs of declaration), and a looming blood patch procedure that was to take place two days before my birthday with a recovery period of a couple of weeks (that with how my symptoms presented....may have done more harm than good, mind you you), I was certain that my birthday was going to blow literal chunks this year.

And just like life does sometimes, I came out of my neuro appointment, two days before my day-o-birth, with the news that I couldn't have my procedure done as of yet (which kinda sucked because I wanted to get it out of the way already but I wasn't entirely mad because I didn't want my birthday to blow Le Chunks), and I consulted with my new and highly intelligent doctor (who was a breath of fresh air from the other nitwits from doctors past), and I got a new med plan, and with all of this in tow I exited the facility and took in that beautiful sun and breeze. For the first time in what seems like years I felt the grace. 

When I woke up on my birthday, surprisingly, I had the least amount of pain I had ever had in I'd say over a year. A bitch asked no questions, I just got my shit together, and hit that pavement. I went to a street fair in my neighborhood (nothing too crazy just in case my body betrayed me...as it so often has), and I had a wonderful time. The sun kissed my skin, there were so many people I could die, and the shades did nothing to protect my retinas from being thoroughly fricasseed....but again...I enjoyed myself.

As for the outfit:

I decided that there was no other way to do this but to go treats on treats. I will be doing a haul on my YouTube channel very soon with as many details as I can acquire as possible, there shall be many a haul soon enough.

It really is too bad I didn't get my makeup look in this post...it was fleeked AF and Coloupop was the main attraction (isn't it always tho).

What I'm Wearing:

1. Doughnut glasses from Amazon.com. (Sold out)
2. Jacket from Strawberry, circa many moons ago. $19.99 (Similar HERE & HERE )
3. Dress was gifted.
4. Skull bracelets from a street-fair. $2 (Similar HERE & HERE)
5. Belt from V.I.M. $7 (Similar HERE)
6. Leggings from Forever21.com. $19.90 (Similar HERE)
7. Boots from Charlotterusse. $15, on sale from $45 (Similar HERE)