Smile For The Cameras.

Yo, can I dead have a phone like this in my hands...in at least a close proximity? This year...? This year and the one prior has be nothing but an onslaught of actual bull's shit, like when people say "bullSHIT" it's just this figurative expression. And, honestly, yes, there's a whole heap of figurative B to the S....but I feel as though the levels of BS have crossed over from figurative to literal (cuz that's how funky, putrid, and wack, shit is). The scope of BS, the way it flowed through life's bowels and casually (catastrophically) contaminated EVERYTHING in it's path......? You can only admire the bull SHIT symphony at this point, you almost can't get mad (I said almost...but not quite), like the expertise, the fluid and majestic cosmic dance of destruction. It's like when you watch mother nature devour lands and it's one part devastating (for obvious reasons) and one part a song beautifully sung, a story beautifully told (with the most perfect climactic ending). How can one, after fully processing what's transpired, fully be mad at it? So here we are, scrambling as yet another bullshit year comes to a close and all I can say (what little advise I can impart), take a moment, breathe, #ReclaimYourTime, appreciate the glory of it all, the magic of it all, inhale the good shit, exhale the bullshit, and remeber to brace yourself for what's to come. If all else fails, just getchu a existential phone. -Jamila Pierre #NaughtCouture {NaughtCouture.com}

So the caption above was under my most recent post on IG (Instagram: @NaughtCouture), I felt compelled to drop a lil' sumthin' sumthin' due to the end of the year's fast approach. This is the time when people's insecurities and self doubt tend to surface, and do so with a vengeance. This is the time when people stereotypically begin to resolute, making promises to themselves and professing change....when they know damn well that they aren't changing shit, and hey...that's OK. There's all this pressure to change, to do better, to be better, to have accomplished and achieved something better than years past. And though I am all about change and betterment....I think that there is very little balance involved, perpetuating #FailureFeels, and propelling people into downward spirals. 

We live in a world that looks down upon mental illness while simultaneously making the cycle practically unbreakable. We drag people into our projections and own ideals, leaving people to feel....well...less than, all of the time.

It's important, as the person being dragged, that you fight to get loose, to get free, and that if you still get dragged in...that you maintain a sense of self because it is entirely too easy to let yourself be swallowed by the expectations of others. And though there's a thin line between expectations and standards, there is in fact a difference, there is in fact a line. Educate yourself on those differences and protect yourself, not just from those around you...but from yourself. It may be cliche but it's true, you ARE your own worst enemy.

It is also common practice to to shrink ones self, especially if you're a part of a marginalized group (POC, Female, LGBTQIA+, Disabled, etc..), this is the expectation. You're not allowed to have a voice, not allowed to feel or express said feelings, your plight, the fact that you need help or recognition of your struggles, the fact that you are falling apart in every way imaginable, is to NEVER be put out there. So you essentially just have to shut up and smile for the cameras. With that said, the biggest wish, hope, and dream I have for you this upcoming year and the years that follow....is that you become louder, is that you find your voice and use it, is that you no longer feel the need to shrink. 

I'd also like for you to be able to find as many moments as humanly possible, to breath, regroup, asses, and push through. This message isn't just for you, it's very much so for me, for I struggle with all of these things to the tenth power. 

Wish me luck and send all your good juju and blessings this way, I will return the favor. Here's to a new year and may it be exceptionally better than the years past. #Make2018YourBitch, and if you can't...remember it's OK, you're still good enough, you're still worthy, you're still the bomb!

As for this outfit? I know, I know, it isn't exactly season appropriate because winter is currently raging against the dying of the light, but ehhhh....whataya gonna do? Hope you enjoy it none the less. 

What I'm Wearing:

1. Sunnies from Rainbow. $5
2. Head-scarf from a street fair. $3
3. Vest is from Target. $7 (On sale) Alternative HERE
4. Sweater is from Forever21. $19.90 (Alternatives HERE, and HERE)
5. Necklace is from Burlington Coat Factory. $13
6. Bracelets are from Burlington Coat Factory and street vendors. $2-$7
7. Jeans are the most expensive jeggings of all time and are from HSN, circa many yrs ago. (Gifted $54) (Alternative HERE, HERE, HERE, and HERE)
8. Boots are from Charlotterusse.com. $ (On sale) Alternative HERE HERE, HERE, HERE, HERE, and HERE

Leather, Sequins, & Camo, Oh My!

When I tell you I just died over this sequin paneled camo jacket....I truly mean it. Just earlier this year I found it's big sister (emphasis on big because they are both the same size and style, but one is clearly waaaay more over-sized than the other), and I was nearly casket ready at that point as well. There's something so chic and absolutely divine about a draped slouchy boyfriend utilitarian anorak, that has a smattering of studs to edge things up just a touch, while also donning a obscenely large patch of sequins smack dab on the back of it. There's also nothing like people thinking they got you figured out as they approach you, only to realize they gotchu all the way fucked up once they turn around to see all that this jacket has got going on, especially on the back. Like yaaaaaaas, let's gather the children, you thought you knew...but you had no idea how lit things actually were. This jacket just allows you to literally throw anything on underneath and look completely put together, effortless chic is an understatement. 

With all of that said....leave it to me to throw on, not just any old thing, but a pair of these borderline vinyl leggings/pants, and a skeleton crop for some added drama. I was going for some serious 90s in the L.E.S (Lower East Side) with a sprinkling of glam on that ass. 

Just to let you know, these pants fit beautifully, but I could've gotten away with a size down, easily, and still be good schmoney. AND, this top was preeeeetty stretchy, so don't despair if they only have a size down from your normal BooHoo T-Shirt size.

When I turn around I wanna turn heads, when I pass people in the street I want the look back to induce a readying of  the casket. 

Do you see these boots?! They're FIYA! FUEGO! FLAMES! If you've been a reader for a while, then you already know I've been searching for a new "life boot", for a long time.  I'll admit, though these are right up there on the list with all of the late great "life boots" of "life boots" past, they will never replace my most recent most epic of all of the "life boots" that I've ever owned. I don't think they could ever be replaiced to be honest. But these fit the bill of edgey everyday biker boot that I so desperately needed in my aresenal.

I gotta tell ya, the belly was out and in full effect, and I was loving it. There was this couple sitting in their car, just staring in shock. I hair-flipped on dem haterzzzz. Feel every piece of this fabulosity. I was like, that's right I'm shuttin' it down and there's nothing you can do about it...except fluff that pillow in your casket (cuz I'm killin' em).  I just smiled and threw my jacket open some more. No one could or can tell me anything, EVER!

It's so funny, because I look at these images and a sense of pride (for so many reasons) comes over me. Not because I am confident or "Brave", not because I had some self esteem hurdle to get through/over....but because no one would know how sick I actually am. That statement can slide right into the problematic section of the issue, but it doesn't bring me joy to look how I feel. This is not to say or imply that it isn't OK to let go or does it mean you own anyone your looks (or anything really), I just need it for me. I need to feel like me whenever I can, ESPECIALLY when this illness has robbed me of so much. Sometimes I wish I didn't have to announce it so that people could actually take in the gravity of it all (and not hit me with the "but you look fine"), I wish they just knew and we all got on accordingly, but that's not the reality (for me at least). Catch 22 much...? So when I see myself being able to push through (because pushing through and having these veeeery small wins is so valuable and important to me in a world where doing even the smallest of tasks is nearly impossible, most times).

In the caption of this IG post I went on to say:

"I went nowhere today, just shot a few blog photos. I tell ya, today was trying AF. My illness was determined to make even the smallest of tasks the absolute most difficult. I had 15 outfits in mind...I did 3 😒 I'm constantly in a place where I have to lower my standards and make my list of goals shorter and shorter. I'm super stubborn (I own this) so I push myself past my limits constantly, sometimes I'm proud of myself, most times I reap the fuckery that comes behind it. I go into all situations knowing I'll end up having to recover, sometimes it takes a few days....other times a few weeks (hence why I aim to capture 15+ outfits...to cushion the blow). My hope is that one day I can become "normal" again, and that in the meantime I can look fly AF. I wanna be your disabled mami, your invisible illness bae. I don't really celebrate #Halloween, but I know my everyday lewks can easily say otherwise. I shot this look today and I took one look in the mirror and knew I needed to give y'all a sneak peek of this here FIYA!" -Jamila

This couldn't have been a more accurate depiction of my daily feels.

So, as a spin on an existence that can be drab AF, I take joy in taking my power back, reclaiming my time, and being fly while disabled.

What I'm Wearing:

1. Jacket from Missguided.com. $47 (On sale for 50% off)
2. Skeleton crop top from Boohoo.com co-ord set. $20 (On sale)
3. Necklace from Forever21. $6 (Sold out)
4. Bracelet from Burlington Coat Factory. $7 (Sold out)
5. Faux leather pants from Missguided.com. $26 (On sale 50% off)
6. Boots from Torrid.com $50 (On sale right not for just under $35)