LADY IN RED.

Sooooo…. this is the red dress I was speaking about in the post prior to this one.

You can’t tell me, you can NOT tell me, that this dress isn’t straight flames, that I don’t look fire in it, that Boohoo didn’t come through with the come through; this dress is clutch AF and there’s no denying it.

It’s most definitely a POWER dress and a POWER lewk, just hand me my crown.

I completely understand why, those guys I referenced in the prior post, were looking at me whilst OOOOOO’ing and Aaaaaahhhh’ing. My last post wasn’t trying to make it more difficult for men, women, or anyone to compliment one another; or feel like they couldn’t do so without permission, or making someone feel uncomfortable because they in fact don’t know that persons life or trauma (if there is one); whether or not they should consider those things before/ in their approach. I feel like we’re in a day and age where consent is important…. almost above all else if not the actual utmost important over everything. With that said…I sometimes wonder if consent (ALL of the time), is the killer of spontaneity, if we as a collective find that it’s worth sacrificing the beauty of that which is spontaneous…. for the sake of feeling “safe”, respected, considered, etc…

Me bringing it up was mostly about delving into the hows and whys of our responses to cat-calling or what we may deem cat-calling over what another may think is (this is not to diminish what is blatant /universal). I wanted to know what constitutes as cat-calling to you, or rather what is acceptable to you despite what it may be deemed. I wanted to know if and HOW the potentials of your past trauma; this is of course if you’ve had said trauma…but what I’ve gathered thus far on my lifes’ journey…. I’ve yet to come across one person who hasn’t experienced SOMETHING; male, female, and everything in between.

How has your past shaped you, how do YOU perceive things? Because honestly, I don’t always feel uncomfortable with a bit of outspoken “appreciation” (to put it mildly) and I wonder if I’m sending the wrong message out into the universe for all of the situations in the future. I wonder if I can/ should remain with an existence firmly planted in the gray…. when I remember a time things were very much black and white (there was a definite benefit to that). I wondered in this moment, was I being dramatic, or did I see what I saw. Yes, all feelings and self-truths are valid…. but is there a perspective here…that is very much so planted in a universal fact (if there is even such a thing)?

Aside from all of that, can we really just take a moment to look at this sickening dress that comes in a hundred different color ways? If you know me AT ALL, you know I’m gonna make it my lifes’ work to acquire them allllllll (Pokemon status).

SIDE NOTE: I made a recording of my blog post this time, you know…so I could transcribe it, and I thought I’d letcha know that I went off on a tangent riiiiight around here, LMFAO. Needless to say…I left it out but I do plan to release clips of the recorded version in the near future.

Anyway, I made plans to rock this dress in Cuba…still haven’t gone to Cuba by the way, hope to go some time next year, hoping we’re still able to go by then (you know…. cuz the state of this country and how it’s ran…one just never knows). I’m crossing my finger AND my toes on that note.

This dress just makes you want to have a beautiful destination as a backdrop, such as CUBA! If it makes me seem like I have some “Basic Bitch” tendencies…. so be it, because this dress deserves it hands down, it needs to live its best life.

Boohoo really outdid themselves with this dress. I first saw its older sister in mustard, but as a year+ flew by, I came across the many other colors, prints, and lengths it came in and I just about passed out of excitement. Not long after that they came out with play-suit/jumpsuit options, GIRIIIIRRRRLLLLL!!! What ended up being the nail in the coffin was when I laid my eyes on the leaf green colorway, that was it, I was SOLD! And if I was going to bite the bullet, I knew I’d be doing myself a disservice by not copping the O.G mustard one (and a shit ton of other colorways…no one saw that coming….)

But I deserved to have them all, ya girl waited for over a year to finally get it poppin’….right? You know I’m right, say I’m right got dang it!!!

In any event, I’m happy to have a new member of the “Jamila wears us ad nauseam family”, but that’s the beauty of this dress though. You can transition the HELL outta this piece, not only from season to season…. but from age to age, from lifestyle to lifestyle, genre to genre, day to night, goth to glam, preppy to renegade, poolside to hillside, work to play, occasion to occasion (you get my drift); it’s just all of that and everything in between. In the near future I’ll be starting a project that explains this concept further.

So there I was, one of the most beautiful dresses I’ve ever owned just hugging my every curve, sashaying and posing with my $20 dollar mules from one of my favorite stores (Famous Brand), a group of fairly handsome men carrying on about how lit I was looking, VBO outchea, panty-lines outchea, necklace & bracelet on point, shades on point, taking full advantage of my manageable health hours to get’er done….ya girl was thrivin’ Biiiihhhhh.

What I’m Wearing:

1. Sunnies from Forever21. $9.90

2. Necklace from Claire’s. 3 for $10 deal

3. Dress from Boohoo.com. $22 (On Sale)

4. Bracelet from Hottopic. 3 for $10 deal

5. Mules from Famous Brand. (Under $20) (Similar HERE, and HERE)

Chiquita Banana.

When I was shooting for this look, it was one in a long list of looks to come and a long list of looks I'd already shot for the day.

The outfit prior to this one (which is next on the blog by the way), was a red sultry number that garnered a shit ton of attention as we were shooting. 

I shoot at this dead end near my home because....well for starters it's awesome, AND it's close enough that my disabled body can somehow muster up energies enough to shoot there.

While in my little red number, a group of guys who were doing some type of construction nearby, decided that ya girl was killin' the game a little toooooo hard, and they felt the overwhelming need to let me know.

I smiled politely and kept my eyes on the prize. I have to be honest, I'd be lying if I said I didn't feel a sense of pride receiving the boat loads of flattery. And it's not because I actually really NEED it, or that I'm even seeking it (I get enough of that shit at home, TRUST). And yes, a person likes to feel desired from time to time, or like they've still got it (especially when they've been out of the game for a while due to a long-term relationship), but as I struck said poses I began to ask myself why I responded the way I did, whether or not I actually WAS flattered…whether or not this whole situation was a part of the social programming we're all apart of? Probably. Did I need to over analyze it? I guess it depend on your perspective, but I'm a habitual over-analyzer who’s always on a quest to read between lines and re-evaluate who I am, my motives, especially those of the folks who surround me (stranger or not).

When I think through why I respond to men the way I do when they catcall, I realize that more times than not, it's a survival tactic. When you see so many women literally dying just because their response to the male gaze or catcall was not up to par with the gazer/ cat-caller, when your life is legit at risk because you just want to go about your day; you learn real quick what you need to do to make it through (however sad the reality, it's what's real baybay).

I ask myself, is it worth the time and trouble, is it worth gathering the cat-caller ALL the way together? Maybe I should just keep it pushing and be grateful it didn't escalate....? It's a shame, but you have to pick your battles; something I've been actively working on and trying to remember.

Do you find yourself in these types of situations often or once in a while? Do you not care how frequent it's taken place because one time is one time too many? Are you offended by any of the cat-calls/ random "compliments" (I put that in quotes because everyone's view on what constitutes as offensive or a compliment varies from person to person)? Do you (based on my tactics) "survive", or do you tell them a thing or two...or eight?

When I went upstairs to change into this LYD (Little Yellow Dress), I knew immediately that I wasn't going to be able to do my thang in my usual spot, NO WAY!

Once the dress came over my ample derriere, VBO, and all this jelly, it went from a dress...to a tunic, real quick. I definitely have no problem rocking a pair of leggings or a faux leather pant with it, I just didn't buy it with that intention and was so excited to be legs to the wind. It turns out I was vageen to the muhfuckin' wind. Y’ALL!!! *Super-Saiyan Side-Eye*

Needless to say, I was not exactly pumped to strike Le Pose in front of those dudes. I don't cower from attention, I thrive in the spotlight....but THIS...? By my standards this was totes inapproprio. Understand, I am all in when it comes to being sexy, provocative, showing some leg or chesticles, but something about parading with my "Lady V" just sunbathing for the world to see when that's not what I signed up for...? Yeah, I'm good Luv, enjoy. 

I had put this entire look together only to tell my mom that I would NOT be going outside with this much exposure, especially with the attention I was already receiving, and she so simply and brilliantly suggested I shoot the look in my doorway....

Why didn't I think of that?!

I've told you all of this because there was no way I was going to keep that tidbit about this fit, and what struggles I experienced with it, from y'all I don't want people caught out there. So, if you're super thickems, if there is an overabundance of jelly, THIS so-called dress may not be for you…unless you fully intend to wear it as a bit of a tunic.

Other than the length, this dress is actually pretty freakin' cute! The "dress" comes in a variety of colors AND after recently perusing the site again, I found that it also came in a few different prints (I'm half tempted to get the black & white striped one).

I knew I wanted to pair this (beautifully beaded) clutch I bought from the Fashion Brand store, that I raved about in my last post, and there was no better necklace to throw on than this floral one from New York & Co.

Of course I paired this look with my trusty yellow rimless sunnies. To seal the look with a giant fashionable kiss, I slid on these comfy as all get out, pointy-toe slingback flats and I steered clear of any bracelets this time around.

It was particularly sweltering outside on this day, so ya girl and her visible belly outline, was showin’ out (not a single solitary fuck was given).

And let’s give up one time for the sheer strength of my double chin game, I call her Jammikins the chins, and she def came to the party flexin’ like a muh (#DoubleChinGameStrong)

-CHEERS, my luvs, see you in the next one-

What I'm Wearing: 

1. Sunnies from a street vendor at 14th street Union Sq.. $5 (Same ones HERE)

2. Necklace from NY&Co. $10 (On sale, similar HERE, HERE, HERE, HERE, and HERE)

3. Dress from BooHoo.com. $20 (On sale)

4. Clutch from a rando store in my hood, called "Famous Brand". $12

5. Shoes from Target. $17 (On sale)