“When life hands you lemons, make chocolate cake and leave em’ wondering how you made it.”

HEY GIRL, HEY!

It's been a lil' minute since my last post, things have been in the proverbial toilet these last few weeks or so (health-wise) and I'm not out of the woods yet, but I thought I'd bless ya'll with this here outfit. Now I know Halloween is long gone....but believe it or not I dress like this regularly, so when this season comes around, I take my happy ass to the online stores and stock up on all the spoopy bad ass apparel I can get my hands on....you know....so I'm covered for the year.

My last BooHoo.com haul was epic and jam-packed with all of the Halloween and edgy glory you could imagine, I love BooHoo for that (and because they always have sales....so you get to stick it to the man regularly). On top of all the goodies I got from Boohoo, I came across this divine patent leather trench from Target. I've always loved patent leather anything really, and though I'm not a trend-aholic (contrarian to the fullest baybay), I am grateful when the thing I love, and have loved, becomes a trend....makes it easier to find what I need.

One evening while browsing the my IG timeline, I came across the Zendya Ox blood patent leather trench (no longer available), on a girl who was on the smaller spectrum of plus, and I nearly fainted. How freakin' amazeballs is that? What wasn't amazing, after tracking it down, was that it didn't come in a size big enough for me. Ever since that moment (which was like a year ago), I've been on the hunt for one in my size and in that same color.

Shoot forward to about two months or so ago, there it was, not in the same color, but in an equally as lit black, at none other than Target. I wasted no time, no thoughts or excuses to stop me from ordering this bad mama jamma, and thankfully I had the foresight to get it in a 3X AND a 4X. You see, the brand Who What Wear (for Target), tends to have some sizing discrepancies, so I made sure to compensate for that. I'd be damned if It sold out before I could get my proper size, and it was the most inexpensive version of this trench I've found....so JACKPOT!!! Added bonus (as I discussed with a friend of mine), it had no distinctive hardware, so It would go with literally everything, and all types of jewelry and accessories (especially with whatever hardware of said accessories). My friend wanted to get it too because as it turns out she was in the market for a similar trench, but she snoozed and lost, because by the time she went to get it....it was GONE! Little did she know I had a trick up my sleeve, because I had every intention of letting her try on whichever didn't fit me (had to keep it on the hush hush, even through her mini harp about it, cuz I wanted it to be a surprise). She may even see this and be like....BITCH I know you didn't wear the jacket for this post and then pass it along......LOL!

So now we get to be patent leather grannies because we're both homebodies and rickety AF.

When the mermaid skeleton coordinate set came in the mail, I tried it on and instantly fell deeper and deeper in love as the minutes went by, I did a half-ass twirl with my disabled self and then a light bulb went on, I'm wearing this with my new trench. I was actually going to try and hobble my ass down to this event, at the Museum Of Sex, in this exact outfit.....but uhhhhh.....I ended up relapsing soooooo....yea. But I had every intention of rocking this fit on the blog because well....look at it.

Unfortunately this jacket is no longer available, but I will include some alternatives of all items below.

I paired everything with these new sunnies from Torrid, my Kreepsville666 skull purse, and my new and improved signature life-boot from Torrid (which came a month and change too late and they forgot to include the proper quantities because they were experiencing a high volume of complete FAIL during the time in which I placed my order). But aside from all of that, I'm super pleased with the boot itself. Tell me this outfit doesn't just rock and knock your socks. TELL ME with a straight face....can't do it can you?

When we finally got to this day to take these photos, Marshall's Law was in full effect (which made post production an absolute nightmare), but I powered through, headache, pain, relapse and all; the finished product left me feeling pretty proud of myself.

As I said in my IG caption; nothing is perfect, perfection isn't and shouldn't be the goal (still learning that), most things can be turned around and/or saved, it is (you are) enough.

What I'm Wearing:

Sunglasses from Torrid. $10 (On sale)
Patent trench from Target.com. $60 (No longer Avail. in plus, alternitive HERE size up if you can because it's snug on the arms, pricier version with more color options HERE, HERE, and one with less patent shine HERE.)
Purse was gifted, but can be found HERE.
Mermaid coordinate set from Boohoo.com. $16 (on sale)
Boot from Torrid.com. $52 (On sale)