The other day I sat in on a “friendship is going to S@#@!” intervention with three of my homegirl’s. Thank god I wasn’t fully involved in the almost untimely demise of a 4 year relationship. All that was really required of my presence was to make sure, as an outside none bias entity, that no one veered off track and make sure that everything that needed to be said was indeed touched upon.
After about an hour of openness and pretty much keeping REAL, I truly believed that there is nowhere else but up from here. I really wanted these girls to resolve their underlying issues that have been bubbling under the surface for over a year now. I have seen friendships end for less and I really didn’t care to see their friendship end especially when it was something that could have easily been resolved, had they just really spoke about it with candor.
All in all, each of these girls (let’s call them “Jamie, “Alice” and “Crystal”) were afraid what it would mean for their relationship had the truth come out about the things they found unsavory about one another, where their friendship stood, and where it was going .
Listen, my advice to everyone is to know that there is no need to be so afraid. I know it seems easier said than done but trust me. There is only one of two things that could happen...they can either accept your concerns and can come to a healthy compromise, or it could mean the end of your friendships. And I know you must be saying and/or thinking “well that’s what I don’t want... I don’t want our friendship to end” .
Well here’s a little bit of reality for you, you either stay in an unhealthy fraudulent relationship with the individual/individuals, you make an effort to correct it by coming to a compromise, or you move on all together. Neither they, nor you should be in an unhealthy and unhappy relationship especially not due to the lack of honesty. No one should live that type of life, it can lead to physical, mental and emotional health problems in the long run (stress, depression, weight gain or loss, etc…). It just is not a good situation.
So if you need to be the one to nip it in the bud then so be it because that type of poison can only do harm, and you confronting the problem head on can only lead to positivity.
I know you may think that there being an unpleasant outcome isn’t exactly a Pro as much as it is a Con, but if you do the math I guarantee you will see how it most definitely surmounts to being more of a Pro. It’s amazing the amount of weight that comes off of your shoulders once problems are hashed out.
-Cheers-
**The photo above is not mine and I am not claiming it.
