It's an interesting and quite conflicting feeling when you don't care enough to express who you are, and when you feel as though you want people to have a better understanding of who you are, all at the same time...in equal measure. In light of this, I chose to give you a glimpse anyway, as to who I am outside of the whole "style thing".
I'm not sure if my personality is solely based on my experiences, or whether it's the Aries in me, or whether it's both (I'm banking on both), but here's what I've gathered about me thus far:
- I'm a hot-headed, stubborn, ambitious, quick-tempered, judgmental yet open minded/ free-spirited, and I'm an intellect.
- I'm passionate, sexual, sensual, emotional and surprisingly cold all at the same time, and I would sacrifice everything including myself in order to prove a point, exercise my freedoms, call my own shots, and to show someone how much I love them.
- When I'm right, I'm right, and I'll stop at almost nothing until you know it... unless I see it's something that would hurt someone I care about way too much to come to terms with, however, if you're not a person I've acquired any feelings towards, I can be ruthless.
- I DO NOT love in a half-ass'd manner, I give my absolute all and best to every relationship, be that friendship, business, or other-wise.
- I am blunt, sarcastic, creative, determined, ridiculously optimistic without losing sight of reality when it concerns those who I give my advice to, but when it comes to my very own life... I'm ridiculously pessimistic and at times unrealistic with the expectations I have for myself. It's not enough to just be great, I must be extraordinary...my life must be extraordinary, and if any part of my life falls by the wayside even for a little while, I become extremely hard on myself.
- I either love you with all of my being or you're just someone I know, there is no in between. Speaking of "no in between", this is very much how my anger works... i'm either cold as ice or a fire pit of rage, and the change of mood can happen in an instant.
- I don't take kindly to disrespect, ostracizing, mean girls; lack of common sense, humor, effort or tact. I can't stand show-boating, humility is one of the most radiant beautiful things out there. (There is a thin line between confidence and conceit).
- I'm a fighter, a lover, a loyal person, friend, significant other, and most importantly I'm loyal to myself and what's right. I very much believe in the code.
- I don't sugar-coat because to me the truth trumps all, I do however believe in timing, so if I need to let you know something, if you are in need of a checking....just know it's coming, I'm just waiting for the right time.
- I will hold your hand through tough times even if you think you don't want me to, even if I don't want to, because what's needed trumps what's wanted. I will provide my ears to listen, my shoulder to cry on, my life to lean on til the very end. Even if i'm tired, going through my own ISH, or not necessarily feelin' you at the moment... if times are dire... and I can... I WILL be there. I believe everyone needs someone in their corner, now, this doesn't mean I am in the business of being taken advantage of, or that I can't smell bullshit, I just take my role as a friend and as a human being seriously.
- I'm not as jealous and selfish as my sign will indicate, I do however have a hunger to be the best, on top, FIRST, but I promise that I am only in true competition with myself (however cliche that may sound).
- Once I love you that's it, you will occupy a piece of my heart til the day I die, now this piece may fluctuate in size depending on your importance or the context and status of our relations, but the place in my heart will forever exist.
- If I have money, you have money. I am extremely giving, sometimes to a fault.
- I'm possessive with those in my life, not just because I want them all to myself, but because I need them as close as possible so I can better protect them. I'm a "mommy" by nature, and I want nothing but the Creme De La Creme for those that I love.
- I give too much credit and not enough at the same time, or maybe I just haven't mastered where to place credit and when.
- I hate people (or rather the human condition), but I also wish that I could save the world. I wish that people could truly be happy and that I had the power and resources to help every single person on the face of all the planets, of all the universes, and I often get depressed that I can't...which is conflicting as hell...because I hate people...
- My humor is unique, when I find a person/s who gets me and has a similar humor, it is seriously a highlight in my life and a sign that I am not alone.
The 5 most important things to me in life are as follows:
- Intimate, transcending, romantic love.
- Inner peace/balance.
- That I leave a remarkable, positive, imprint on this planet that pays forward for all eternity.
- That I can bring joy and life to those that I love and those that I meet, though I'm not a particularly chipper person...I don't feel you need to be in order to accomplish that.
- That I will one day live up to my potential and live life exactly how I've always dreamed.
So that's it, that's me, I could go on and on for a couple more years but I wont. To sum it up, I'm a down to earth, no bullshit, loves wholeheartedly, loyal to a fault, stubborn, firecracker, and I make no apologies for it. So if you ever feel inclined to get to know me or to have some insight as to what you're getting yourself into, there's my brief overview. Though it may not seem brief, trust me it is, because there is much much more.
Hi, my name is Jamila, what's yours?