Hey y’all, ya girl has been gone for a minute. I think its safe to say this whole pandemic has had everyone in a standstill. In 2019, like many of you, I felt that year to be one of the worst yet. I couldn’t wait for 2020 to roll in, I had so many plans. I’d just launched a business, and in my mind things were about to be the best they’ve ever been. Many of us felt this way. We reviled in the arrival of a new year and it’s new prospects.
In came 2020 and boy were we all wrong. I was hit with the flu (or what I thought was the flu), I had never been this sick in my life (cold-wise). That on top of my disability, ya girl was done for. My fever spiked to 105 degrees and because of how black people, more specifically black women, are treated by doctors and health staff alike…I stayed home and self remedied. Two weeks of pure hell, but I made it. Only to be thrusted head first into a world-wide pandemic. I still think I caught the virus in January of 2020…but I haven't proved it yet.
2020 was a shit-show to say the least. Between police brutality, spiked racism, white supremacy on the rise, people dying left and right, and quarantine; I felt upside down and inside out. My business had to be re-structured and so did the life of me and my family. I’m sure you can relate. So I dropped everything. As a matter of fact, I began pulling back on many of the things I loved due to my invisible illness reeking havoc on my existence at an all time high, months before 2019 ended. It’s almost like the writing was on the wall.
Fast forward.
When 2021 started my business had finally come to the end of development and I told myself I’d get back into the swing of things. The pendulum of passion was calling to me once again. Well, unfortunately, the first half of the year was spent enthralled in a major health flare-up that made it almost impossible to function. Standing, sitting, taking showers, cooking, leaving the house, “getting ready”, eating, watching tv, everything you could think of that an able-bodied person could do with ease….I was no long able to do.
Then I got a boost out of nowhere. I was able to manage my illness with the support of family and (like the crazy and stubborn person that I am) I decided to try AGAIN. I reached out to a few brands to accompany me on my journey. The journey, was that of a creative who simply wanted her voice to be heard in a crowd of able-bodied folk. With every article and sponsored movement that’s geared towards those who are visibly disabled (which isn’t many to begin with), how often do you see invisible illness put at the forefront? There are so many invisible illnesses that aren’t just that of the mind. Why don’t we hear more about them, why is no one talking about them more?
So here we are.
I decided it’s time to link up with not only brands that believe in my mission for awareness, but brands that have seriously saved my life throughout the years of my invisible illness-battle. I know it seems dramatic, but in a world where everything hurts, you never feel good, vertigo is always on the menu, and you still need to get dressed? These companies provided the garb that fulfilled my need to show out even when I didn’t feel like I looked.
No, I don’t owe anyone my looks or to be aesthetically pleasing, but I’m no nor have I ever operated from that place. This is about me. And this should also be about you if you find yourself in a similar position as me or not. Dress for you. Even if certain situations call for a certain look always find a way to make it for you. That personal spin makes all the difference. And for me, I “dress up” because it’s who I am. It’s what makes me feel the most me. And if any spoonie out there can relate, you know how it feels to have your illness/ailments rob you of what makes you… YOU.
Before I got sick, I can’t tell you how many times people have asked me where I was going and who was I getting fancy for, every time I got “dressed up”. Now that I’m sick, it has increased exponentially, but mostly by the slew of medical professionals I’ve encountered while seeking treatment for what ails me. It’s not always so blatant as a question, sometimes it’s a look, or a disregard of complaints. It’s as if I should match the way I look with the way I feel in order to be believed.
“There’s no way you’re as sick as you say you are and your so put together?”. -Doctor Horrible
Little do people know that I have somewhat perfected how to exist as my truest self and be sick as a dog in equal measure. I had to or I’d go insane.
I cant tell you how many times I’ve had to disclaim to physicians, “Just cuz I’m sick doesn’t mean I’m dead, doesn’t mean all of the clothes I own have somehow disappeared and have been replaced with rags. Would it help if I came in here in a housecoat? Would you believe I’m sick then?”.
Now look, there are a multitude of reasons I am not believed by doctors off rip, but how I have chosen to present myself to the world adds the recipe for disaster. I’ve even resorted to frumpifying my look to get respect from these doctors; less makeup, sweatpants and a T-shirt, and some beat up sneakers (just to be taken seriously, just to be heard). I moved away from doing all that because it was more work and significantly more emotionally and mentally taxing to dull my shine than to just be who I am. Plus once that layer of the discrimination cake was “remedied”, there was still the issue of being a fat person of color who is female and has a full head of locks. So I figure, if you’re gonna hate me, you’re gonna hate all of me.
I really could and will go on as we make our way through these upcoming blog posts. but for now, let’s enjoy the looks brought to you by yours truly and COWCOW.
CowCow, as you should know by now if you’ve been reading my blog for any length of time, is a Naughtcouture favorite. This brand has given me all of the quirky, customizable, and effortless fun I could ever hope for. They are the epitome of maximum impact with little to no effort. And you know I’m a super-fan of that right there. I’m too dizzy, too nauseous, and have way too many spinal headaches to be franticly searching for ways to put looks together, especially if I’m on a time constraint and have spent 80% of the time towards getting ready just recouping physically from every task I complete (i.e. putting on makeup, eating to ward off hunger headaches, showering, the act of getting dressed as a whole).
The last thing I need is to exert much needed energy on what to wear and whether or not what I’m wearing truly represents me. The way I combat that is by purchasing high impact pieces. These are MY version of basics. These pieces do a lot to bring me joy in an otherwise unenjoyable moment; like doctors appointments, disability hearings, physical therapy, etc… I can catch a glimpse of the girl who lives inside of me every time I catch a reflection. It reminds me that I’m still here. That feeling is priceless. CowCow has been one of the brands that has been crucial to making that happen for me. I’ll forever rep them for that alone. The fact that they make high quality pieces in material and print with a desirable amount of give and stretch for comfort, and that they’re generally size-inclusive, is just the icing on the cake.
The folks at Cowcow understand me and those like me, they stand for inclusivity and are continuing to work towards expanding upon that as they move forward. They can see the bigger picture. And they’re one of the few brands that has given voice and shared the light with influencers varying in audience sizes in hopes to get the word out. They care, they’re listening, and we can do this together.
As for this dress, it only goes up to a size 3X and it fits snug to the body but not in a confining way. The neck opening stretches enough for my big head to fit into it and it doesn’t constrict my neck, surprisingly. The print is of high quality, however, this dress isn’t like the skater dresses I’ve rocked so many times before on my blog. It is a ribbed material so the print can tend to separate a bit. My only critique is that they chose a material with a background color of the main print so that when the ribbing stretches you can’t see the white in between the ribbed rows as it stretched over fat bodies like mine. Otherwise, this dress is dope AF.
What I’m Wearing:
Sunnies from Witchinghourbaby.com. $ (OLD) Similar HERE, HERE, & HERE
Necklace from AFAZE. 3 for $10 (Very old) Similar HERE
Dress from Cowcow.com. $41 (Sponsored for review)
Spiked bookbag from Witchinghour.com. (Gifted. Not Sponsored.) Alternatives HERE, HERE, HERE, HERE, & HERE
Boots from UrbanOG.com. $24.99 (Very Old) Similar HERE, HERE, & HERE
*Some of the links provided may be affiliate links (20% off when you use code: NAUGHTCOUTURE at check out for Cowcow.com) All views and opinions are of my own.