Finding ways to feel sexy while sick can also pose a challenge. When you’re by yourself just being a blanket burrito with no responsibilities and no one to motivate or press the ”Impress-Button”…. then that’s just fine I guess. But when you’re in a relationship and moreover you live with your significant other, and even more so you have been in a marriage/long-term relationship with them; you still need to put some razzle dazzle on it. If they love you they’ll accommodate and excursive patience and give grace. However, they’re human, they have needs, and much like life as a whole…the show must go on.
*There’s a blog post coming up that gets a bit more TMI about all of that, but I’m still gonna address some stuff here.
My husband loves me very very much, we’re not just lover but we’re friends. And as patient and accommodating as he is, he still has needs and sometimes all I can give him is some visuals to work with. So that’s precisely what I’m fitna do. My baseline is pain, everyday, all day. But, when I get these pockets of manageability and I’m not busy trying to accomplish all of the tasks to make up for lost time, I’m carving out time and effort to remind him why he not only loves me…but lusts after me. He does the same. He’s a very busy man (he’s always busy trying to secure the bag for our future), but my sexy Bambean does these things to get me riled up every chance he gets. Sometimes it’s small and subtle things, other times he’s blatant and over the top.
He’ll do something extravagant like come out of the shower dripping wet and he’ll dry himself and grease himself up in front of me without breaking eye contact not once. Or he’ll be lowkey thinking he’s being slick and he'll lay on me with his head on my lap while I pet and massage his beautiful head full of locks. He’ll make sure I can see his muscular physic and he’ll lightly caress my knee. It’s things like this and various other shit I won’t get into right now that get my blood going and he knows it. That’s why he does it, he’s reminding me (not that I need reminding…I mean he’s gorgeous).
I do similar things, I offer to be his hands and bath him, or wear a robe with nothing underneath so that he can catch glimpses of my body if any movement or the wind shifts it open. I’ll wear his favorite panties while I try and complete tasks around the house. Often times we don’t even say anything about it, we just silently enjoy the views knowing full well what time it is. These acts of lust-baiting keep the desire alive amidst the hectic hubbub and the times in which my illness is draining me dry of will to live much less feeling sexy to say the least.
By now you’re probably wondering, “Jamila, why are you sharing this?”; I want you to understand some of how I manage AND keep my relationship alive. I also want to express how given the multitude of limitations and how having access to clothing pieces that provide the sexy has been crucial in that effort.
There’s quite a list of pieces and brands that I have experience with (maybe I’ll dedicate a post to that list for fellow spoonies soon enough). CowCow just so happens to have a few options as well and I was able to fulfill my curiosities by copping a piece or two from them. Now, the print on this rob was created by a seller on on CowCow’s home site and it caught my eye, but they have customizable options at CowCow.com. How fun would it be to be able to take nudes of yourself or boudoir photos and make a print out of it to have it printed on a silky rob to wear around the house for your partner? Or maybe you want something else printed on any of the clothing options CowCow provides, you can do that.
For me? I fell in love with this jungle/safari print and thought it to be sexy as hell. so I acquired it. When I pulled it out of the package and saw how deeply saturated the colors were and how beautiful the print was in person I knew I wanted to showcase it as a frisky night piece and I wanted to show its versatility as well. So I gave you a night-out look as well. I wanted to show you how to take this “night on the town” look to a rest of the night-IN look for schmexy-time.
It may seem more complex than it is but it truly is such a stand out piece that it makes it all so effortless.
As for the fit, if you are a size 3X (22/24) and you have a bulbus belly and thunderous arms and thighs, be prepared to feel a snug fit on the arms and to only be able to wear this robe open like a kimono. It is unfortunate, but I managed to make it work. Much like most brands who make garments with unforgiving materials, often times you have to size up. There are definitely brands who accommodate far more expertly than CowCow has, but like I said….that’s for another post. I do wish this robe came in the far more inclusive sizing that a great many of their other products do, but the biggest is a 3X in this fantastical robe and if you’re any bigger than me or prefer a robe that closes, stay tuned for the blog post to come. Otherwise you’re in for a treat, because this robe is actually quite beautiful.
What I’m Wearing (Night Out):
Robe from CowCow.com. $49.99 (Gifted)
Necklace from the wholesale district in NYC. $7.99
Dress, Rachel Roy, from Famous Brands. $7 (On sale) Alternative HERE, and HERE
What I’m Wearing (Night In):
Robe from CowCow.com. $49.99 (Gifted)
Necklace from the wholesale district in NYC. $7.99
Bra from Victoria Secret. $12 (Semi-Anni sale, ages ago) Alternatives HERE, HERE, & HERE
Panties from Amazon.com. $29.99 (Comes in a variety of colors and they are TOP TIER)